


Ian Smiles

by flightlessxbird



Series: Let's Take This One Song, This One Rhyme. [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: AU, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:58:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1705691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightlessxbird/pseuds/flightlessxbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey has formed a band in the hopes that writing music will help him forget about Ian. A flash of red in the audience turns zombie-like Mickey back into a man with a mission. (Set before 4x07)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ian Smiles

**~~Lana~~ Ian Smiles**

* * *

 

 

_I was fine just a guy living on my own_

_Waiting for the sky to fall_

_Then you called and changed it all_

_Doll_

 

**Mickey wasn’t sure when he started to feel the way he did about Ian Gallagher. Maybe it was when they first kissed. Maybe it was when Ian visited him in juvie and put his hand on the glass like a complete dork. Maybe it was when he woke up to the red-haired boy holding a tire iron over him in bed. Fuck, maybe it was that first time he walked into the Kash ‘n’ Grab shouting his name like a death sentence. Little did he know he’d be whispering that name like a prayer only later that week.**

 

_Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in_

_We both know you'd already win_

_Mm you’re original sin_

**No matter how many songs he wrote about Ian, he could never sing them the way he wanted to; he could never sing them the way he _needed_ to. His father and wife always came to see him at shows. He didn’t know why his father came if he didn’t care, probably just to be sure his son wasn’t making a fool of himself in front of everyone they knew. ‘He’s were changed to ‘she’s and ‘Ian’s changed to ‘Lana’s to appease his father. Mickey stopped pretending to please Svetlana a long time ago, so he didn’t bother when it was just him and her. He and Svetlana had become somewhat friends in Ian’s absence, and the Russian knew how torn up Mickey was. She told him if Ian came back for him, he shouldn’t take him back. But Mickey knew he would. In a heartbeat. “Don’t worry,” he still told her. “He won’t come back for me.”**

_Waking up to a kiss and you're on your way_

_I really hoped that you would stay_

_But you left and went your own way_

_Babe_

**He remembered watching Ian as he walked out the door. “I didn’t come here for you.” No, Mickey remembered. He came for Mandy. He had no intention of seeing Mickey. No intention of holding him. No intention of kissing him. Intention? He lacked the _desire_ even. And Mickey didn’t blame him. Not after the way he treated Ian. But Ian gave him a chance, didn’t he? Mickey said “Don’t.” Ian asked, “Don’t what?” With all that Mickey had in his shitty self, he wanted to scream “Don’t go.” But he choked. The fear rose in his throat and cut out his vocal chords. What if he had told Ian not to go? What if he’d allowed himself to be vulnerable for just _one second,_ bare himself to the one person he trusted? Impossible. His fear crept in his head and told him “No, he’ll see that you need him and then he’ll not only leave, but he’ll turn away laughing.” Fuck.**

_I don't mind take your time I got things to do_

_Besides sit around and wait for you_

_Oh and I hope you do too_

**He tried desperately to forget. He focused on running the business upstairs at The Alibi Room. He picked up women when he was so wasted he could have sworn they were men. He buried his pain away in a magazine in the bathroom, taking it out every now and then to admire and to curse. When work, anonymous sex, and denial stopped working, he took up music. People always say that music saved their lives, right? Maybe it could save Mickey’s, if he could just write everything in a song and only think of Hurricane Ian when he was singing his tortures. But even then, the hurricane left debris in his lungs and left him homeless, zombie-like. Now here he was, singing his songs at the House of Blues on a lonely Saturday night.**

_You fooled me once with your eyes now honey_

_You fooled me twice with your lies and I say_

_Lana smiles like Lana doesn't care,_

_She lives in her world so unaware,_

_Does she know that my destiny lies with her?_

_Lana_

_Oh Lana_

_Are you saving me?_

**Mickey’s eyes search the crowd and he finds his father in the front row with his wife. There are empty shot glasses that his father has downed and an isolated diet coke Svetlana was drinking. She can’t do shots with Terry; it’s bad for the baby. Thinking of the baby gives Mickey vertigo. No, it wasn’t the baby that made him sick. It was its conception. It was its grandfather. Svetlana gives Mickey a friendly, supportive smile as he makes it to the end of the second chorus. She knows the song isn’t really for her, but she holds no grudges. After all, she wanted to marry Mickey about as much as he wanted to marry her. The bridge was about to start, but a flash of red heading hastily towards the exit caught his eye. It couldn’t be… But of course it was.**

_And it's killing me inside_

_Consuming all my time_

_You've left me blind_

_And when I think I'm right_

_You strip away my pride_

_You cast it all aside but I say_

**Mickey sings the bridge with an almost painful amount of emotion. He’s sure the concertgoers are impressed by how easily he can put such emotion into one part of the song and strum at their heartstrings, but the room seems empty to him at this point and he could care less about the crowd. His breath was being ripped from his lungs even as he reached out towards the figure. He pulls the microphone from its stand and walks toward the retreating redhead. Just before he can get to the doors, Mickey grabs his shoulder and starts the final chorus. The way it was meant to be sung.**

_Ian smiles like Ian doesn't care_

_He lives in his world so unaware_

_Does he know that my destiny lies with him?_

**Mickey finds familiarly green eyes staring back into his own baby blues, his voice catching every time he sings his name. He’s sure his eyes must be bloodshot and tear-filled, but he doesn’t care. Firecrotch was back. _His_ Firecrotch. He watches the lopsided grin he always found ridiculous spread across the boy’s freckled cheeks and he finds himself falling in love all over again. He hears the muffled shouts and curses of his father behind him, but he’s already dropped the microphone and taken Ian’s hand, dashing out of his own concert as the crowd cheers and wolf-whistles at the smitten runaways.**

_Ian (Ian)_

_Oh Ian (Ian) are you saving me?_

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah this was based on a dream I had where Mickey had formed a band and written a song called Ian Smiles (aka Sarah Smiles by Panic! At The Disco) but since he was singing it live, he had to change the 'Ian's to 'Lana's since his father was around. Ian thought Mickey loved Lana and tried to slip out of the concert unnoticed but Mickey did see him. I don't know, I've had more than a few Gallavich dreams associated with songs so I might make this a series.


End file.
